I AM NOT A SLAVE TO THE IMPULSES

In our everyday life, we go through continuous impulse-response mechanism. Every moment we get some impulses from outside and we respond to those impulses; some times voluntarily some times involuntarily. These impulses could be anything. It could be verbal or non-verbal. Your brain responds to the smell you receive in your nostrils, the taste you get on your tongue and also to the verbal and physical impulses you receive every moment. Unfortunately most of us don’t have any control on the responses. We are like puppets; where we respond to each and every impulse we receive. For some people the response is so fast that they even think the response has come without their knowledge. They call themselves as ‘short-tempered’ and they believe that it is a character which cannot be changed. There are some other people who take pride in having this quality (or bad quality), whereby they say, “whatever comes in my mind I say it. I am not bothered in which way the other person is going to take it. I am a Straight forward person.” There are so many people around you who are in this state. They take pride in being ‘straight forward’. In fact to a greater extent this ‘straight forwardness’ has become an excuse for their uncontrollable responses. When you come across such a person ask him, “I appreciate your straight forwardness, but tell me how many friends you have? How are your relationships in the family?” The response would be, “I don’t have any friends. In fact I don’t care about family relationships; all these are drama. I don’t know how to act like an artist. I am very natural. Whatever comes in mind, I will speak out.” Though he is making all these bold statements, just imagine what kind of a horrible life he must be leading. But even for the horrible life he is having, he has justifications.

Once I spoke about this subject in one of my seminars and immediately one gentleman stood up. He was quite angry and upset. He shouted, “What do you mean. Are you telling that we should not be straight forward? That is stupidity. I cannot accept your statement. I have served the Indian Army I capacity of Captain for more than a decade. One of the qualities I always boast off about myself is straight forwardness.” I said, “I am not against straight forwardness. Most of the people take straight forwardness as an excuse to cover up their incapability to control their responses to the impulses they receive. You can be and should be straight forward, but in the process you have no right to hurt some one’s emotions.” Hence when you respond to situations and people, make sure that you are not hurting anyone. At the end of the day, what matters is how many people felt good because of you.

Go an extra mile do something to make others feel good. Have a wonderful week ahead

You are not The Product of the Circumstances

‘You are not the product of the circumstances; you are the product of the choices you make now.’ Believe in this statement. Just think about this; we all wake up every morning to the same world. For some of us that day will be a very exciting wonderful day and for some others that is the worst day. How come the same day appeared wonderful for some people and horrible for some others? The day is the same! But the people who looked at the day are different. Hence it is not the day which is creating the environment, it is you who is creating the environment. In fact only you have an influence on the environment. The environment will have influence on you only if you permit that. Hence, if you want to have a happy and peaceful life, stop blaming the environment. Stop finding out what wrong circumstances are the reasons for your problems, instead start finding out what kind of circumstances you want to create.

I don’t know how many of you heard this phrase, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” It is a common statement we all make at various occasions that “he has belittled me,” “he is frustrating me,” “he is making my life miserable,” etc. In fact these are all wrong statements. No body can make you feel inferior without your permission, nobody can frustrate you without your permission, nobody can make your life miserable without your permission. When you feel that someone is frustrating you, in fact you are allowing him to make you frustrated. Just think, if your boss is trying to frustrate you, and you have decided that you are not going to be frustrated; what your boss can do. Hence take the responsibility to create the right environment around you every moment. It is you who is in charge.

In fact you have the best environment right now, if you have decided to succeed in life. India is growing at a breathtaking pace. Every sector in our economy is booming. All economists in the entire world are of the opinion that India is unstoppable at least till 2020. By 2020, as our previous Honorable President Dr Abdul Kalam visualized, India will emerge as the most powerful economy in the world. This cannot be stopped at any cost. So in other words we are going to have the best environment during this time; provided you are ambitious, progressive and have got bigger plans in life. If you don’t qualify for any of these factors these years are going to be the most horrible time for you. Hence it is not the environment, but what you want to make from your life, what you want to do with your life is the most important thing.

You Create Your Environment

Today morning you may hear a knocking at your door. Don’t close your eyes and ears towards it. Because, it could be an opportunity. Opportunities come and knock at your door at least once in your lifetime. For that matter she knocks at everyone’s door, at least once. But only very few understand that this is an opportunity; Out of them very few realize that this is an opportunity for me; Out of these people only very few have got a dream in their life; Out of the people who have got some dreams only very few take action; out of them only very few people have got belief in their dreams and confidence in themselves that they can do it; Out of them very few are focused and consistently persistent. They are the people who make history in the world.

Generally most of the people live with the belief that they never come across any opportunity in life! Though they find some opportunity they think either time is not right or they are not fit to grab the opportunity. They live blaming each and everyone in this world. They believe that luck doesn’t happen to all. They blame their destiny for everything. They sometimes blame the society, their parents for not putting them in the best schools, their superior officers for not providing them the right chances, their family for not providing the right atmosphere at home etc. I have seen people living such a distressful life cursing everyone around them including the Prime Minister and the President of the country. They believe or try to make themselves believe that their entire problems in life are caused by other people and situations.

Why do people think like this? Is it because of the education they received from the school and college? Is it because of the influence of the family in which they have been brought up?

It is being said that you are the product of your habits and your belief systems. Your Habits and your belief systems are the product of your environment. So your environment decides what you are. Now the question is that who decides the environment? Most of the people believe that they have no influence on the environment; as it is being created by others; starting from the servant in your house or the attendant in your office to the President of the country. You have nothing much to do about it! Most of us think that we are HELPLESS as this entire environment is being created by all others in this world except us. That is why we always say that there is no point in talking about or thinking about it because we have no influence on this environment but we always blame the environment as we believe that it has a high influence on us.

However the reality is totally different. Just think about this; we all wake up every morning to the same world. For some of us that day will be a very exciting wonderful day and for some others that is the worst day. How come the same day appeared wonderful for some people and horrible for some others? The day is the same! But the people who looked at the day are different. Hence it is not the day which is creating the environment, it is you who is creating the environment. In fact only you have an influence on the environment. The environment will have influence on you only if you permit that.

I don’t know how many of you heard this phrase, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” But it is a common statement made by all of us at various occasions that “he has belittled me,” “he is frustrating me,” “he is making my life miserable,” etc. In fact these are all wrong statements. No body can make you feel inferior without your permission, nobody can frustrate you without your permission, nobody can make your life miserable without your permission. It is you who is in charge.

In fact you have the best environment right now, if you have decided to succeed in life. India is growing at a breathtaking pace. Every sector in our economy is booming. All economists in the entire world are of the opinion that India is unstoppable at least till 2020. By 2020, as our previous Honorable President Dr Abdul Kalam visualized, India will emerge as the most powerful economy in the world. This cannot be stopped at any cost. So in other words we are going to have the best environment during this time; provided you are ambitious, progressive and have got bigger plans in life. If you don’t qualify for any of these factors these years are going to be the most horrible time for you. Hence it is not the environment, but what you want to make from your life, what you want to do with your life is the most important thing.

Take charge of your life today…..and have a very productive week ahead

Do What You Love…Love What You Do

We grow up believing that what counts most in our lives is that which will occur in the future. We are doing everything to make a better future. Parents teach children that if they learn good habits now, they will be better off as adults. Teachers assure the students that the boring classes they attend now will benefit them later, when they are going to be looking for jobs. The General Manger tells the junior employees to work hard and have patience, because one of these days they will be promoted to the executive ranks. However the hope will remain with them even on the previous day to the retirement. “We are always getting to live,” as Ralph Waldo Emerson used to say, “but never living.”

Of course, this emphasis on the postponement of gratification to a certain extent is inevitable. A lot of people believe that it is the hope for tomorrow, is what make them live today. We are more externally driven than internally driven. We are more worried about what others think about us than what we think about ourselves. We always strive so hard to achieve the goals set by our superiors, than the goals set by ourselves in our lives. I have worked with some well known companies in India before I started my own business and then turned to training. When I got into business I found it very tough to be disciplined to achieve the goals, while I used to achieve harder goals while I was in the job. The reason being in my business I don’t have a boss. I don’t have any external pressure. As I ventured into business through Amway, which doesn’t require any big investment, there was absolutely no pressure. I have seen this happening with lot of people. We all perform to our fullest potential when there is an external pressure on us to perform.

There is no question that to survive, and especially to survive in this complex competitive society, it is necessary to work for external goals and to postpone the pleasures of the present moment. “Living in the present moment’ remains as an unachievable dream for most because of this. But a person does not have to be turned into a puppet playing as per the tunes set by others. The solution is to gradually become free of the external rewards and learn how to substitute them with rewards that are under one’s own powers. This is not to say that we should abandon every goal set by others like our superiors in job or seniors in our society, rather, it means that, in addition to the goals set by others, we develop a set of our own goals. Over a period of time our own goals should replace the goals set by others and that is the time we could say we have control on our life.

In a way we have all started accepting that the destination will be wonderful only if the journey is painful. In fact this also give us a hope that all painful journey ends with wonderful results. Hence we go through the pains hoping that one day I will enjoy the life the way I want to enjoy. But unfortunately in most of these cases life is nothing but a continuous pain as once you reach a destination, you have another destination to be reached. Once you achieve a goal you are motivated to set the next bigger goal. Hence there is no end to this pain. Life becomes a frustrating and painful experience and the world becomes an unfriendly place to live in.

However one thing is for sure, we cannot escape from this as we have to make a living to take care of our families and to fulfill our needs. The easiest way to escape from all this is to get detached from all this materialistic accomplishments and escape to Himalayas and go in a totally spiritual way. But can we have a life where we need to strive to achieve goals on a continuous basis and at the same time being happy every moment? In other words can we have a journey to a wonderful dream destination where the journey also is enjoyable? In fact we can have. If the journey itself is enjoyable, there won’t be any frustrations; we will love every moment, we will in fact love the journey and would long for more journey. If the work itself is giving you pleasure, you will work more and long working hours won’t be a problem for you. Mother Theresa said, “When you love what you do and do what you love, then you develop passion in your work.” Anything you do with passion you stand to excel in that field.

Now the question is, how can we make the journey enjoyable, how can we make the work itself very exciting as the result is, how can we make the process more interesting than or at least equally interesting as the result is? Think over it this week and you will find answers. Work with an intention of loving what you do and deriving happiness in the present moment.

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal

A management consultant, on holiday in a fishing village, watched a little fishing boat docked at the quayside. Noting the quality of the fish, the consultant asked the fisherman how long it had taken to catch them.

"Not very long." answered the fisherman.

"Then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the consultant.

The fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family and that he is happy with what he has.

The consultant asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, have an afternoon's rest under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go into the community hall to see my friends, have a few beers, play the drums, and sing a few songs..... I have a full and happy life." replied the fisherman.

The consultant ventured, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you...... You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have a large fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to a city here, from where you can direct your huge enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the fisherman.

"Oh, ten, maybe twenty years." replied the consultant.

"And after that?" asked the fisherman.

"After that? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the consultant, laughing, "When your business gets really big, you can start selling shares in your company and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" pressed the fisherman.

"After that you'll be able to retire, move out to a small village by the sea, sleep in late every day, spend time with your family, go fishing, take afternoon naps under a coconut tree, and spend relaxing evenings having drinks with friends...and have a full and happy life"

“Isn’t that kind of a life I am enjoying now?” wondered the Fisherman

We grow up believing that what counts most in our lives is that which will occur in the future. We are doing everything to make a better future. Parents teach children that if they learn good habits now, they will be better off as adults. Teachers assure the students that the boring classes they attend now will benefit them later, when they are going to be looking for jobs. The General Manger tells the junior employees to work hard and have patience, because one of these days they will be promoted to the executive ranks. However the hope will remain with them even on the previous day to the retirement. “We are always getting to live,” as Ralph Waldo Emerson used to say, “but never living.”

As we know that we have only one life, we need to start living it. Life is not a dress rehearsal. You won’t get a second chance. And hence live every moment in your life, derive happiness and enjoyment in every moment of your life.

Have a fulfilling week ahead.